Look, here's the thing...

Photo

2011-04-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

Test POST

2011-04-11T15:43:00.001-07:00

Has it really been a month?

2010-03-10T11:52:00.000-08:00

First, my truck was broken into. They forced open the hood, disconnected the battery, ripped out the driver's side door lock, tore out my stereo, stole a check, and also made off with my literally brand new running shoes. One of the things that got me through my NJ experience was the belief that I was building up karma points; that by going through something that miserable, I was buying myself

More Ramblings...

2010-02-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

First thing's first: I don't know how I never discovered how awesome bowling leagues are until now. But my Tuesday nights are amazing. This has highlighted one thing to me, though: bowling etiquette is 90% bullshit. People get SO pissed off if you bowl at the same time as them. Really? I suck at bowling, and I don't get distracted by you bowling next to me... It's not my fault you can't focus.---

Clip of the Day - Mini Daddy

2010-01-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Nanny Government Sucks

2010-01-21T14:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while driving through downtown Sacramento, I was pulled over by two bicycle cops for not wearing my seat belt. I was literally 3 blocks from home.It's pretty easy to ignore the absurdity of being pulled over by a bicycle cop. What would they have done if I just took off at full speed? The only thing that stopped me from fleeing was not a fear that they could catch me, but rather a

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about New Year's Day is that it's an opportunity to measure yourself against where you were a year prior. In addition to setting out ambitious goals such as "lose weight" and "get out of debt," I think it's important to do a number of little things. Especially if you haven't your resolutions yet, I recommend some of the following:1. If you don't have it already, get your

Ramblings

2009-12-21T13:49:00.000-08:00

The New Orleans Saints lost. I don't want to get into how depressing this is (a shot at being the most memorable team in NFL history is now down the drain), nor do I want to talk about how this could be the best thing that happened to the 2009 Saints (they can now afford to rest their players and prepare for a run deep into the playoffs). I do, however, want to talk about how obnoxious Dallas

The Del? Or the Bell?

2009-12-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

I have recently had this argument with more than one person, and it really bothers me how so many people can be consistently wrong. The question? Which fast food restaurant is better, Del Taco or Taco Bell?First, let's examine Taco Bell:Taco Bell is strong for two reasons: its ever-present marketing campaigns, and its position as a late night drunken food destination. As far as quality and food

Men Who Sing with Goats

2009-12-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

I tried to embed the video, but it just wouldn't work properly... so follow this link for a little bit of awesomeness.

A Return to the Blogosphere

2009-12-09T22:23:00.001-08:00

It's been over three months since I've had a chance to update the blog. The first three months were due to an utter lack of time, the last couple weeks were due to my own laziness/readjustment to normal life.____________________________________________________After campaigning last year, I wrote this blog post about how campaigning changed my life. Much of that post still holds true - I guarantee

A Few Nuggets of Acquired Wisdom

2009-08-31T14:23:00.001-07:00

I've learned a few things recently. Below is a short list:1. Malatol (or sugar alcohol) is also used as a laxative. Sometimes inadvertently. It's quite effective.2. Flakey volunteers make me angry enough to strangle kittens.3. www.ruminations.com reads my mind. For example: "Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong."4. $800 vehicles have more problems

My 31-Point Plan to Happiness

2009-08-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

Being in exile in New Jersey is not all it's cracked up to be. As you may or may not be aware, I do not have a ton of spare time. I added it up - I actually worked 88 hours last week. Eighty-eight.To put that into perspective, let's do this exercise. Imagine your 40-hour work week. Now pretend that instead of getting off at 6pm on Friday, you worked till 10pm. Now double the number of hours

Ramblings, the Jersey version...

2009-07-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

One of the things I learned on my cross-country drive is that "oh, I'll just sleep in my car" is rarely as simple as it seems. 1) Showering is underrated... taking a shower is KEY when driving cross country. For some reason, smelling like ass zaps you of all motivation. 2) Regardless of whether or not it's summer, it can get cold at night, and the glass windows of your car are hardly protection

Horchata, This is Your Life...

2009-07-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

Jacko: who really cares??

2009-07-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm hesitant to post this for two reasons: 1) I don't want to seem insensitive to the fact that someone has, indeed, passed away. That's not something to take lightly, regardless of their name, and 2) I don't want to contribute to the endless noise coming from every direction about Michael Jackson.But someone has to say it: nobody should care this much. If you turned on the TV today, you were

Money-Making Schemes

2009-07-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

After spending a few days mulling over my recent unemployment, I have come to recognize that I may or may not be in trouble. It's a bad economy, with unemployment in California upwards of 11.5%. And my marketable skills are specific to a field that is cyclical - and let's just say that right now is not the ideal time to be looking for employment in politics.So, over a few glasses of cheap rum and

The Curse of Simon's Phone

2009-07-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

Do not look directly at the image of this cursed objectAbout six weeks ago, I was smoking cigars with my buddy. And I made a comment along the lines of, "You know, I'm really happy with just about everything in my life right now. Just a few months ago, I was stressed out and felt lost. But now, everything is just about perfect."I had started to hit my stride at work, getting closer with my

Beware...

2009-06-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

Seriously... if you are susceptible to having songs stuck in your head, DO NOT watch this video. I will forever hate the person responsible for introducing me to this - it has ruined my appreciation for music and my ability to focus.

Ramblings...

2009-05-31T20:52:00.000-07:00

I finally watched the finale of '24.' My love of this show is well documented and almost impossible to surpass. But I must say, this season was garbage. I understand that it's hard to keep a show at its peak for 7 seasons, especially when they're strictly confined to the real-time format for each episode. But seriously! Tony Almeida, are you good or bad? I still don't know the real answer. And I

Who's a Big Loser??? Me, That's Who!!!

2009-05-21T22:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the final weigh-in for our office biggest loser competition. For just over a month, 12 people competed against each other for the highest percentage of body weight lost. I am happy to report that I am now the proud owner of the $120 in prize money.Through diet and exercise, I lost 26 lbs over the course of the competition. This is also after having lost 11 pounds since the beginning

Sugar-Free, but Just as Sweet

2009-05-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

In talking with a female friend of mine, the topic of Sugar Daddies came up. Sugar Daddies, or Sugar Mommas, are pretty much the epitome. Obviously, in a Sugar Daddy relationship the young, attractive individual (usually the female) gives up some "sugar" in order to have gifts showered on her by an older, well-off individual (usually the male).This trade-off, however, carries with it certain

You say I'm premature, but I call it ecstacy...

2009-05-04T17:40:00.001-07:00

After having a heated discussion today, I've decided to ask for feedback. To preface, I am no longer a fan of Saturday Night Live. SNL was great in the past, but over the last several years the show has been lackluster. The recent advent of the Digital Short, however, has created some great videos that are absolutely YouTube-able. Clips like Dick in a Box and Natalie Portman's Gangsta Rap make

Ramblings

2009-04-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've gotta say, I'm really excited about this Swine Flu thing. No, not that 7 people have died already, or that they're slaughtering pigs in Egypt, or that I have another reason not to go to Mexico. I'm excited because (1) old people are wearing masks, which gives me an opportunity to cough at them and freak them out, and (2) five years from now Swine Flu jokes are going to be obscure and funny.

Still Stunned...

2009-04-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

A lot has been written about Nick Adenhart's death a little over a week ago. I can't really add anything to it, but two stories in particular stuck out.ESPN's Amy Nelson outlined the events of that night here. She also introduces us to the other passengers of the car, two of whom died and the other is still in the hospital.And Sports Illustrated's Jeff Pearlman had a reaction similar to mine. The

Speechless...

2009-04-09T16:07:00.000-07:00

When I got to work this morning and opened my mailbox, I was greeted with a link to the news story about the death of 22-year old Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. His car was hit by someone who ran a red light, sending it into a light pole and killing three of the four passengers. This happened just hours after he made his season debut.As a devout Angels fan, I've followed Nick's career since he

Weekend Playlist

2009-03-27T20:03:00.001-07:00

To get you in the mood for whatever the night has in store, please enjoy the following playlist. It's titled "Saturday Night," but I'm willing to bet it works equally well for Fridays...Saturday Night

How Fabulous Am I?

2009-03-20T16:09:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine recently, and it became apparent that I am losing my masculinity. We were discussing recipes, and he was quick to point out that I was being a woman. I'm afraid that he was on the right track, but headed in the wrong direction. I am still very much male, but evidence suggests I may slowly transforming into a gay man.Exhibit A: After almost two years of sleeping

Myspace, I thought we were cool...

2009-03-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was just on Myspace, and it showed me this ad. Why is Myspace picking on me?!?

An Uncomfortable Jon Stewart

2009-03-13T17:57:00.000-07:00

I got 200 words into this post before realizing that I didn't ever state my thesis. So, I'm just going to stick it here, introductory paragraph be damned: Jon Stewart wants to have it both ways - he wants to be able to influence public opinion and require those who he disagrees with to defend their positions, but he also wants to always be able to retreat behind the shield of Comedy Central,

Gym Etiquette

2009-03-12T20:16:00.001-07:00

If you'll remember, I decided to make a few New Year's resolutions this year. One of these was to visit my friendly neighborhood 24 Hour Fitness at least three times a week. At the end of the month, I'll give an update on how my resolutions are going, but meanwhile I have developed a handful of pet peeves for people at the gym. I've never really been a gym rat, but I've been going off and on

Clip of the Day - Night Terrors

2009-03-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have a handful of recurring dreams. In one of them, I have already committed to murder, and the evening of what should be restful sleep is spent trying to cover it up (trust me, I know I have problems, one of them being I watch too much tv).This poor pooch, I fear, is having a similar dream. The end result is a tad bit funnier.

Playlists

2009-03-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, you may have chosen to listen to this playlist. If so, then you know that each song went down like a shot of cheap tequila and, as such, has left you with a music hangover this morning.To help you recover from this hangover, I have compiled this playlist; a bloody mary mix, if you will (get it? it stays with the alcoholic beverage theme and mix has two meanings. I'm clever).

Fancy New Look, Same Old Nonsense

2009-03-05T22:09:00.001-08:00

I decided to mix things up a bit and change the layout of the blog. What do you think? By the way, that wasn't a rhetorical question - there's a poll to the right. Let me know how you feel about it.Also, be sure to sign up as a "follower" of the blog. I'm not sure what that means, really, but it makes me sound really important. So do it. Please.

Search Engine Optimization = Cooler Than You

2009-03-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO CENSORSHIP

The Saga of the Egg Continues

2009-03-04T09:43:00.000-08:00

In yesterday's research on the Cadburry Egg McFlurry (btw, tickets to Dublin from California for $407 this weekend), I came across some random Creme Egg facts that you might enjoy. In addition to reminding me about the McFlurry, this list disturbs me for two reasons. There is apparently a mint Cadbury Egg. I don't know if this is delicious or disgusting, because I have never tried it. Creme Eggs

A WHAT McFlurry?!?

2009-03-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

I have a very serious problem. My friend just ruined my life. He sent me this link, exposing the dirty truth. How am I supposed to live knowing this?!? People in the UK are enjoying Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurries, while you and I are stuck here with standard McDonald's desserts. It's not that I think they shouldn't have them - because they should. I am just furious that McDonald's would spoil our

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-02-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

Sure, the holiday season is great and summertime can be a blast, but nothing beats late-February to early-April.Here are the Top 10 reasons I love this time of year:10. March Madness is just around the corner. I don't follow college basketball closely, but I love filling out a bracket and realizing I have at least as good a chance of picking the Final Four as any of the prognosticators... err...

My Debut Album

2009-02-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

You may or may not know, but with my recent vast amounts of free time, I've been working on my music. It's been coming along nicely and some friends and I recently formed our band "Free Stamp." In fact, I'm proud to announce that our first album, "Divide it Into Small Jobs," is going to drop next week. It's a crossover project with elements of hip hop and dance. Think Daft Punk meets Mos Def.

California's Shiny New Budget

2009-02-19T23:48:00.000-08:00

As a preface, this is the kind of post that can get me labeled a RINO. If you aren't plotting the assassination of one of the six GOP legislators who voted for the budget, then you aren't really a Republican. Or so it seems.After what seems like a year-long budget debate, the California legislature finally enacted a budget bill that purports to bridge the $40+ billion budget gap over the next 18

Clip of the Day - Joaquin Phoenix has it together

2009-02-12T10:27:00.000-08:00

Clip of the Day - Folly!

2009-02-11T22:50:00.000-08:00

Facing a $48 billion budget shortfall (yes, billion with a "b"), the California legislature is closing in on a budget deal. Thinking I know everything, I could write about this for days. The simple way to say it, though, is Republicans can stop any budget put forward by Democrats, and have rigidly stood by their no-tax pledge. Now, however, it looks as if they've realized that this budget

More Ramblings...

2009-02-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

This has really been bothering me: what is with YouTube putting a tagline over the screenshot of every embedded video? Is that really necessary? Was there an epidemic of people getting tricked into watching video clips they otherwise never would? Even if that was the case, the taglines they put over the videos aren't 100% accurate. This really bothers me for no apparent reason. Look:"Happy

And another one falls, another one falls...

2009-02-07T08:59:00.001-08:00

Another one bites the dust. Sports Illustrated has an article alleging future Hall-of-Famer Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two steroids in 2003.This has become a huge problem for baseball. Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and now Alex Rodriguez? These were all considered the best of the best, and now they've all been tainted by the steroids scandal. What makes it worse is

Batman Explodes

2009-02-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

Christian Bale's popularity has skyrocketed with his, admittedly, great portrayal of Batman. This popularity even survived his alleged assault on his mother and sister last year, so I'm sure he'll continue to be everyone's favorite Dark Knight in light of this profanity-laced tirade on the set of Terminator 4. In other news, they're making a Terminator 4...Obviously, Mr. Bale could use some anger

In Defense of a President

2009-01-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

It is easy to jump on the anti-Bush bandwagon; to proverbially kick the outgoing President while he's down. The list of major screw-ups from this administration is mind boggling. From a botched response to Katrina, to the mismanagement of the war in Iraq, to the politicization of the Justice Department, President Bush has done everything possible to earn his +/- 30% approval rating.The longer

Jack is Back

2009-01-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie - I'm stoked. It's been almost two years since we last saw Jack Bauer, the badass CTU agent who has single-handedly killed almost as many people as he's saved. He's the ultimate hero. And he's back to save the world again - one justified torture at a time.There's also a new heroine this season: FBI Agent Renee Walker. I haven't figured out if she's going to get killed, or if

You're So Vain...

2009-01-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,You told me today that my blog has become less entertaining. That's OK, I don't blame you. I mean, I have worked really hard on my music critiques and social commentary, but I understand. You said that you enjoyed the Top 10, but that was about it. Then you questioned my commitment to my New Year's resolutions, but I don't take it personally.I know why you feel this way: occasionally

Clip of the Day - The Anti-Funny

2009-01-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

I consider myself something of a stand-up connoisseur. I enjoy original comedy. While I do have a sophisticated comedy palate, I still enjoy quasi-original comedy. I even enjoy dick and fart jokes. I just don't like watching so-called comedians who aren't funny. I especially don't like watching famous people who aren't funny. Yes, I'm talking about you Dane Cook.I'm pretty sure Dane Cook is the

Conspiracy Theories...

2009-01-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

OK, so it isn't really a conspiracy theory. But a few things have happened over the last few days. Our Prince...er...President-elect has created a cabinet for the ages, full of household names and admirable public servants. Rep. Rahm Emmanuel will be Obama's Chief of Staff, and former rivals Sen. Hillary Clinton and Gov. Bill Richardson were initially dubbed Secretaries of State and Commerce,

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

I've never made a New Year's resolution in my life. It seems forced, hackneyed, and cliche. Plus, no one actually lives up to their resolutions. "For 2009, I resolve to exercise more." But then February rolls around and you've been to the gym once. That, or people make ridiculous resolutions that they can never live up to. "This year, I will get a new job paying six figures." This has always

My Five Favorite Lil Wayne Lyrics

2008-12-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

First, I have to apologize for the recent musical tinge this blog has taken. I again have to admit that I have zero musical talent. But that doesn't stop me from criticizing (or praising) those who seek to separate me from my money in exchange for the right to play their music.What I love most about contemporary hip hop is the lyrics. In the genesis of rap, the groundbreaking artists of the day

Clip of the Day - Love in this (Chuck E. Cheese) Club

2008-12-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

I didn't think it was possible to improve this song. I mean, when the original artist makes a song this terrible, what are you supposed to do?That's where this guy comes in. He purchased the Showbiz Pizza Band, put them in his basement, and created the magic that is this video (2:31 is particularly awesome):

Bonus Clip of the Day - Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T16:38:00.001-08:00

Parenting 101

Clip of the Day - Ante Up!

2008-12-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

Sheer brilliance!

An Open Letter to The Killers

2008-12-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

Dear The Killers,(By the way, why does your name have a fucking "The" in it? Who do you think you are? The Doors?)I want to begin with saying that, despite owning two instruments for over 10 years, I have no musical talent to speak of. That does not stop me, however, from recognizing that song after song of yours sounds like an abortion set to music.Listen, I own plenty of shitty music. And I

Would you rather...?

2008-12-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

The question is simple: would you spend the night in jail for $500? There is a poll to the right, register your answer there. Let's just say this question is not just a hypothetical... so consider carefully.

Ramblings...

2008-12-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

Illinois Gov. Rob Blagojevich is fucked. Jesse Jackson, Jr. isn't far behind. How far can this thing go? Considering the recent rise to power of several Illinois politicians, this is potentially the most intriguing corruption scandal in a generation. Barack Obama, Rahm Emmanuel, Dick Durbin, Jesse Jackson, Jr., Richard Daly... the list of potential characters involved is enough to make a

Damn you, Yahoo!

2008-11-29T18:29:00.001-08:00

I'm not really a fan of Yahoo! in general. This started years ago when I developed at least the superficial belief that Google's search engine was vastly superior. I use Yahoo! for only 2 reasons: fantasy sports and e-mail. And the only reason I use it for e-mail is because I have had that address for years, and several people still use it to contact me. I've tried to switch everyone over to

Things that make life worth living...

2008-11-22T23:47:00.000-08:00

I found my new favorite thing in the world: The Best of Craiglist. I've always been a fan of craigslist, if only because it can keep me busy for hours, checking out the crazy personal ads, looking for free furniture, or pricing apartments in exotic cities I'd never move to anyway. But I had no idea how great craigslist truly is...Did you know that people frequently post rants on craigslist? How

#1 - Candles v. Incense

2008-11-18T11:45:00.000-08:00

Event #1 had everything: conspiracy, drama, romance... bro-mance. It started out as just a normal night in Sacramento. A large group of us met at Simon's, mostly because someone was supposed to bring the "guy friend" from out of town. They ended up bailing on us, which started a discussion on why so many of the male fellows are infatuated with her. BTW, "so many" = two of us.Female Fellow: See!

How Campaigning Changed My Life...

2008-11-16T19:24:00.000-08:00

Who you are is inextricably linked to your profession. If you're a student, life revolves around classes and homework. If you're in construction, you wake up early and physically work your tail off. If you work in an office, you get caught up in the gossip waiting for 5:00pm to roll around. For the most part, though, you are not defined by your work - it's a big part of your life, but it isn't

Some Thoughts on Traveling

2008-11-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

I love traveling. I didn't even have a passport until I was 21, but four years later - I'm hooked. Here are some of the things I love most about traveling in general, and Buenos Aires in particular.1. The Language Barrier: It may be the most frustrating thing about traveling, but it's what makes everything an adventure. Today, I had one guy start talking to me - and for the life of me I couldn't

#2 - The Night That Dare Not Speak Its Name

2008-11-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

This night has a cast of exactly 4 characters. They will remain nameless, but they probably aren’t hard to figure out if you know us. The times listed below are approximate and should be taken with a grain of salt.Before getting into the story, it’s probably a good idea to start the morning after:8:17a: I wake up on a co-conspirator’s (Let’s call him Participant A) couch to a phone call from my

#3 - Opening Night

2008-11-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

Considering the fact that people won't stop nagging me about it, I figured I may as well post #3. For opening night of the minor league baseball season, we decided to catch the River Cats game in West Sac. In all honesty, the night is kind of a blur. We couldn't see the game from our wonderful seats in the grass behind the outfield, so many of us resorted to drinking smuggled booze. Here is the

Clip of the Day - wtf?

2008-11-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

Who thought this was a good idea? And who is that white kid???

How I voted

2008-10-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

In the primary, I discussed how much joy I get from voting. I do want to point out that voting on election day is much more fun than voting early. Not everyone is talking about it; the buzz isn't in the air; you don't get one of those "I voted" stickers. But it's still great to know that you are - in a small way - shaping history.One thing about this election is that there are so many positions

And I still have better taste in music...

2008-10-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

In my never-ending quest to prove that I am infinitely more hip than my friend with a John Mayer/Carlos Santana/Asian fetish, here are a couple of even cooler videos.Just for comparison's sake, I'd like to mention that the Velvet Underground is widely considered one of the most influential rock bands in history, while Carlos Santana's greatest influence is the angel Metatron.

Where has this guy been?

2008-10-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know where John McCain's been, but I'm glad he's back! He showed up at the last debate, and he reminds me of the man I wanted to be President 8 years ago. Absentee ballots are already out and millions of people have already voted nationwide, but let's hope the Straight Talk Express can stay on track through Nov. 4.At the last debate...At the Al Smith charity dinner...At a rally today in

The rantings of a depressed lunatic...

2008-10-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

I've been a student of politics for quite a while, and I don't know what took me so long to get to this point. But I have come to realize that, contrary to what we all want to believe, our elections process brings out the absolute worst in us.A few weeks ago, a buddy sent me this link. In case you're too lazy to click (or just don't trust that I'm not sending you to a work-inappropriate website),

Clip of the Day: Indoctrination

2008-10-05T23:03:00.001-07:00

How can this not worry you? I think the video speaks for itself:

#4 - Indian Gaming Bash

2008-09-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

I get a lot of criticism because this Top 10 list has gotten less funny. I've said from the beginning, though, that the list isn't the Top 10 hilarious moments or the Top 10 crazy things I've seen/participated in. It really is the Top 10 events over the past year that have defined my time in Sacramento. Sure, there is a decent amount of hilarity. But a good portion of what defined the past year

Things Women Say - And What They Really Mean

2008-09-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

OK - we all have a hard time understanding women. I used to wonder sometimes if they were even speaking the same language. I have recently realized that while the words are the same, the meanings to these words are very different for women.I have compiled a short lexicon of things women say - and what they really mean. Please feel free to add your own examples in the comments section.1. (To

Clip of the Day - CNN gets a bad rap

2008-09-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

I just want to say that even I have been particularly hard on CNN over the years. But anyone who brings us this level of entertainment can't be all bad, right?Clue: Check out the :40 mark.

Felicitaciones, Sr. Rodriguez

2008-09-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

He did it. Frankie Rodriguez just saved his 57th game of the season, tying an 18-year old Major League record.Moreso than anyone, Frankie has been the face of the "new" Angels. When the Angels burst onto the scene to win the World Series in 2002, it was because Frankie came out of nowhere to solidify the bullpen and give his team opportunities to win late in games. Since then, he has assumed the

Clip of the Day - Get Excited!

2008-09-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

This video encapsulates the single greatest reason Republicans will be celebrating on Nov. 5.In case the video won't work, click here.On a similar note, Sen. Barack Obama's fellow celebrity and supporter, Matt Damon, said today that Gov. Sarah Palin's life story is like a bad Disney movie. My question is this: did he make this remark as an Obama supporter, or an expert on bad movies?

#5 - There's no place like dome...

2008-09-09T22:56:00.001-07:00

Another part of orientation was our trip up to the top of the Cupola. While it was a lot of fun, it's not the kind of thing you expect to remember. I mean, most of us have either been to the top of a tall building (in NYC, LA, or Taiwan) or at the top of a mountain (like Mt. Shasta), both of which are - in the abstract - cooler than being just 8 stories up (or so) in Sacramento.What was great,

Clip of the Day - Battle at Kruger

2008-09-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

A few years back, one of my best friends traveled to Africa - it was his college graduation gift. What he said struck him about Africa was that it was the first time in his life where he was surrounded by death. Everything around him, he said, just seemed like it was waiting for its turn to be killed. Between the heat, the poverty, and the sheer number of large predatory animals, death literally

#6 Ho Ho Ho

2008-08-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

Last year's Christmas party pretty much rocked. Turnout was great, and even the program director came. You know a party is pretty sweet when it includes all of the following:1. The host of the party being assaulted with a jigger.2. The destruction of hardwood floors by a white powdery substance meant to imitate the appearance of snow. This substance was never supposed to be (1) purchased or (2)

La Ciudad de Buenos Aires

2008-08-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

It is pretty much impossible for me to overstate my affection for the city of Buenos Aires or the people who live there. Sure, the noise never stops, everyone owns a dog that no one cleans up after, and the people have strongly held beliefs about the level of intelligence of the current President of the United States; but just about everything else about the city is glorious.As a young adult, the

Clip of the Day

2008-08-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong. SNL sucks - at least it has for the past 15 years or so. But every once in a while they still hit a homerun. Case in point...

Clip of the Day - "It's so easy..."

2008-08-18T03:27:00.000-07:00

I have watched this clips approximately 1,203 times in my life. I have laughed every time. In fact, this clip singlehandedly got me through a whole semester of college.

Clip of the Day - That's how they roll

2008-08-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Exactly how bad ass are Georgians? Well, this news reporter was shot by a sniper while on live TV, and then CONTINUED with her report!!

#7 - The Makings of a Caucus

2008-08-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Some of the most memorable moments in life are unexpected. Obviously, you plan things like your 21st birthday party, your graduation, or your wedding, and those are all memorable as well. But a spontaneous decision among friends to do something even slightly out of the ordinary can be the foundation of new or renewed friendships.One night early in the program, a large number of us met at pyramid

#8 - The First Party

2008-08-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

The following series of events took place at - or in route to/from - the apartment that would come to be infamously known as "3M." Names have been changed or omitted to protect the guilty.If my memory serves me well, this party was one of many BYOB events throughout the year. My - shall we call him frugal? - roommate and I decided to bring very large beer bottles so we wouldn't have to share (

Stress + Bad Food = Crazy Dreams

2008-07-31T22:14:00.001-07:00

With my current job, I always go to bed with a million things left on my to-do list, and I know I should start before my alarm goes off in the morning. This leads to restless sleep.Because my days are so busy, I can't find the time to actually cook meals myself. This leads me to eat whatever crappy food I can grab on the way to a meeting, phone bank, or event. This combines with my stress to lead

John Mayer Blows My Mind

2008-07-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

I have been confronted with this over and over, but most recently when two of my good friends (both males) took it upon themselves to attend a John Mayer concert. Now, I gave them a lot of crap for it - because they were asking for it. But in all honesty, the guy is a phenomenon.I've said it before and I'll say it again: I find it absolutely amazing how a man as talented as John Mayer can

#9 For Real - The Ropes Course

2008-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Playing into the theme of getting to know everyone, Top Moment #9 is the ropes course. Leadership training in general is always fantastic (remember our game with the buckets, blindfolds, standing tallest to shortest, etc?) but our own American Gladiators course was special for the following reasons:(1) We still didn't know each other, really. I mean, who knew James Bond was in the Fellowship?

# 9 - Still not up

2008-07-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

I'm working on getting #9 up - It's just hard with my work schedule the way it is.While you're here, please watch this video.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GruLMqy_wn0(embedding was disabled by request)

#10 - The Famous Ag Tour

2008-07-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

Characters: "Amy," "Charlie," "Huck," "Jessica," "Frank," and "Patty" The Ag Tour took place in the beginning of the program, when everyone was still feeling each other out and getting to know people from the other programs. This makes the list because I saw several people in a new light - and our friendships are (mostly) stronger for it.The following moments stick out in my mind - more or less

Top 10 Favorite Moments In Sacramento

2008-07-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

Thus begins the countdown of my Top 10 Favorite Moments in Sacramento. I use the term "moment" loosely, as most of my favorite times lasted several hours. I also use "Sacramento" with poetic license, as not everything awesome takes place in the city limits.Finally, the rankings are somewhat arbitrary. These were all significant moments in the last year of my life, and it's impossible to choose

Clip of the Day - D-Tosh (NSFM)

2008-07-04T16:50:00.000-07:00

Three things triggered me remembering this video of Daniel Tosh performing in Orange County:(1) I <3 Funny Things.(B) I'm back in Orange County for the weekend.(3) There has been a noticeable increase in the number of discussions regarding the affinity my friends possess for women (or men) of the Asian persuasion.(D) The concept Google in general...Regardless, D-Tosh is a funny mo-fo.

A Diary of a Friday Night in Sacramento (NSFM)

2008-06-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

The following is an account of a Friday night. This is by no means a full account of the evening, nor does it include some of the more entertaining events that took place - either because I wasn't there to actually witness them or because there is no way to hide the identity of those partaking in scurrilous acts. These are their stories:10:04 pm: A drunk male co-worker pushes his douchebag

In Brief - Quotes of the Evening

2008-06-29T02:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can get a feel for the evening based solely on a collection of memorable quotations. See the following:1. From the last person you'd expect to hear it from, on how CPR is performed on a well-endowed female: "What do you do, perform inverted CPR? Push on her mouth and suck on her tits?"2. Friend One (in manly voice): "Vegetarian was a bad word in my house growing up."Friend Two (

Bathroom Etiquette - Rules to Live By

2008-06-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

Some things are just common sense. Don't drink and drive. Don't date someone from your office. Don't apply icy hot to any part of your body covered by a bathing suit. It has come to my attention, however, that there are those among us who are completely unaware of some of the most deeply ingrained common sense behavior: bathroom etiquette.I am fully aware of the nuances involved in bathroom

In the News - Disabled While Intoxicated?

2008-06-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Police in Australia arrested a man and charged him with a DUI. This is clearly not news. What IS news, however, is that he was not in a car. The "motor vehicle" he was driving was - wait for it - his wheel chair.Are we saying that people in wheel chairs can never be drunk? When are they NOT driving? This seems highly hypocritical.Sure, he was in the middle of the street and had a BAC of .31. So

Happy Voting!

2008-06-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

There's something about election day that always puts me in a good mood. Despite whatever else is going on in my life at the time, whenever I walk out of a polling place I can't help but smile.Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge the flaws in our system of democracy and I understand the argument that voting is irrational. There's just something redeeming about casting a ballot.Maybe it's the

Fun Things To Do With Your Boss's Car

2008-06-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

I was recently trusted to drive my boss's Toyota Camry Hybrid. Well, the car isn't owned by my boss. It's owned by the state of California, but that's not the point. The point is, I could have kept the car all weekend and no one would have known the difference. But I didn't. I returned the car immediately in full working condition. I didn't even drive any more recklessly than I would in my own

Friendship Rule #1

2008-05-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Friendship Rule #1 is this: Do not, under any circumstances, put your friends in the line of fire without giving them a heads up.I'm going to preface this story by saying that, as far as Republicans go, I am a friend of the gay community. In my mind, homosexual couples should share the same privileges (and punishments) as heterosexual couples. This includes the right to adopt children, the

Damaged goods - my pedicured feet

2008-05-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

Look how good my feet looked. Nice and soft, freshly painted. But I ruined it last night. Instead of going home and liberally applying lotion to my manly, yet soft, feet, I played basketball. Even worse, I played basketball in RUNNING shoes.I don't know if you've ever tried to play basketball in running shoes, but it's pretty much the dumbest idea ever. In addition to looking like you've never

Look, here's the thing...

Photo

Test POST

Has it really been a month?

More Ramblings...

Clip of the Day - Mini Daddy

Nanny Government Sucks

Happy New Year

Ramblings

The Del? Or the Bell?

Men Who Sing with Goats

A Return to the Blogosphere

A Few Nuggets of Acquired Wisdom

My 31-Point Plan to Happiness

Ramblings, the Jersey version...

Horchata, This is Your Life...

Jacko: who really cares??

Money-Making Schemes

The Curse of Simon's Phone

Beware...

Ramblings...

Who's a Big Loser??? Me, That's Who!!!

Sugar-Free, but Just as Sweet

You say I'm premature, but I call it ecstacy...

Ramblings

Still Stunned...

Speechless...

Weekend Playlist

How Fabulous Am I?

Myspace, I thought we were cool...

An Uncomfortable Jon Stewart

Gym Etiquette

Clip of the Day - Night Terrors

Playlists

Fancy New Look, Same Old Nonsense

Search Engine Optimization = Cooler Than You

The Saga of the Egg Continues

A *WHAT* McFlurry?!?

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

My Debut Album

California's Shiny New Budget

Clip of the Day - Joaquin Phoenix has it together

Clip of the Day - Folly!

More Ramblings...

And another one falls, another one falls...

Batman Explodes

In Defense of a President

Jack is Back

You're So Vain...

Clip of the Day - The Anti-Funny

Conspiracy Theories...

New Year's Resolutions

My Five Favorite Lil Wayne Lyrics

Clip of the Day - Love in this (Chuck E. Cheese) Club

Bonus Clip of the Day - Merry Christmas

Clip of the Day - Ante Up!

An Open Letter to The Killers

Would you rather...?

Ramblings...

Damn you, Yahoo!

Things that make life worth living...

#1 - Candles v. Incense

How Campaigning Changed My Life...

Some Thoughts on Traveling

#2 - The Night That Dare Not Speak Its Name

#3 - Opening Night

Clip of the Day - wtf?

How I voted

And I *still* have better taste in music...

Where has this guy been?

The rantings of a depressed lunatic...

Clip of the Day: Indoctrination

#4 - Indian Gaming Bash

Things Women Say - And What They Really Mean

Clip of the Day - CNN gets a bad rap

Felicitaciones, Sr. Rodriguez

Clip of the Day - Get Excited!

#5 - There's no place like dome...

Clip of the Day - Battle at Kruger

#6 Ho Ho Ho

A WHAT McFlurry?!?

And I still have better taste in music...